avast! ye evildoers ~ ~ pclef.net

GUILTY PLEASURE OF THE WEEK

Nope, no drug use here.

Hey look it’s former STP singer Scott Weiland fronting the remains of Guns N Roses! After a team of therapist and life coaches convened to submit documents to the Lower Court Justice of Sobriety for the County of Los Angeles, it was decided that the best way for Scott Weiland to move forward in his new life would be to……front a new rock band! Hooray! And hey, let’s make it interesting. Let’s round up all the guys who got thrown out of the biggest band of the late 80s/early 90s because of their penchant for heroin and inability to maintain contact with the planetary ring of Axl Rose (paging Mr. Buckethead, paging Mr. Buckethead…). Let’s put them in a room and let them do what they want. Make the stripper girlfriend Mrs. Stripper Girlfriend, convene focus groups to confirm that the band name (it's Velvet Revolver, in case you didn't get the memo) is instantly derivative yet hugely marketable, and we’ll even bring in some guy who went to high school with Saul, er,, I mean Slash, who just so happens to also be a guitar player! Blimey! What an explosive collision of fate and cosmic beneficence!

Why should you, the music consumer, give a tiny shiny shitlet poopy? Riffs. Yeah, the lyrics are trite, and the production is LA gloss & floss, and the repetitive choruses fly around in circles like a bug orbiting a porch zapper….fudge that, it’s those les paul/marshall riffs that keep my noggin bobbing as the long grey rainy train cuts across the muddy meadowlands…..this is dumb rock from a vocalist I can tolerate and a band that is clearly energized by this unexpected second act.

However, as is usually the case with mainstream L.A. rock, I expect a short shelf life for these gooey stadium rock sentiments, soon to be filed in the has-bin with its neighbors audioslave & jane’s addiction…..

WESTERBERG ON THE FACES

From the liner notes to the new Faces box set, "Five Guys Walk Into a Bar"...

Jagger held you in his hands. Picking up "A Nod Is As Good As A Wink . . . To A Blind Horse", you held them in yours: lovable, scruffy Faces. I've heard the term "rude" used, but not by my standards. Get in, sit down, get up, get out-Ladies & Gentlemen, that's rock 'n' roll. Masterfully recorded. Perfect amount of reverb. Crank it up. Put on "Rocks Off," then "Miss Judy's Farm." One sticks its tongue out at you, while the other kicks you up the ass. Back when drums meant beat, not snare with a capital S.

There's minstrel slides and pianos; beautiful ballads too. Rockers never heavy or plodding, ever-swinging thanks to Mr. Jones. Rod's voice breaks on the word "trying" and "That's All You Need"-Woody's showpiece. Ronnie makes sure the songs are wistful, Stewart and Wood making sure they're mighty. Mac on keyboards shares with us what he already knows: He's the shit. No elves or fairies or misty buckskin rubbish. Not glam but pub rock with flash.

Try as I might to have made the 'Mats in their image, we were just too damn angry. Faces-that's my band. They had fun. Humor. Stewart bellows in velvet. Jones pounds and thumps. Wood explodes almost in time. Lane grins then confesses, plays low. McLagan boogies, tinkles, and drinks. One of a kind they were. They make The Beatles sound like The Fleetwoods. Tragedy. They make Led Zeppelin sound like a riff machine. Pink Floyd? Please. And the Stones? Well, smack never had this much fun. No Bogus mojo hokum. London's loud, lean, laughin' louts.

I'll never forget seeing the Faces. We were at the back of the auditorium, and they kicked into "Miss Judy's Farm," and me and my friend were crushed up two-deep in front of the stage before the guitar break. With a completely strange 15-year-old girl on my shoulders, taking slugs off a passing bottle, the back of my uncool green windbreaker became ever so warm and moist. I was in heaven.

Two things emanated from that stage to date: The loudest fucking band I've ever heard, and the strange sense of community. Aw, hell, man, it was love. Hey, what's your name again? Nod captured this feeling and never let go.

-Paul Westerberg

"Strength and Wisdom are not Opposing Values."

Great to see the slickster last night....great speech, the same smooth delivery, and y'know these two are just so in love......

Last night reminded me of what had become a fairly remote memory, the experience of seeing and hearing a (former) White House resident who spoke a reasonably elegant grammar, with correct pronunciation and nuanced enunciation, and a recitation that was the antithesis to the sort of rhetorical performance we have been subjected to these last 3 1/2 years, which more often than not has resembled the squinty self-doubting vacuity of a cornered ferret.

Bubs, good to see ya again....hope you're getting some tail......

UNDER THE RADAR

This is turning into the summer of rediscovering bygone guitarists. I've been spending the past month listening to a large chunk of the Roy Buchanan discography, an exercise I heartily recommend (although if you're a guitar player, be ready for a heavy dose of humility).

I bought a book recently: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0634029568/qid=1090811213/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-8616732-0065502?v=glance&s=books

Rory Gallagher. heard of him, never really filled in the blanks. so, this piqued curiosity gave way to investigating the recordings etc. bottom line: mofo could play. no joke. great blues chops, serviceable blues holler, and a rather unique ability with the bottleneck slide....from what I've gathered he used AC30s and Bassman's mainly, with a treble booster.....great strat tone.....

another Irish gift to music....from the same county as my Grandpa.....time for some strat woodshedding methinks...

THE LOSING FIGHT

It goes back to Little League--the lesson we are all taught about one's conduct when wearing the catcher's gear. You don't fight with the pads on. And you most definitely do not throw a punch wearing a catcher's mask. This is a tough one because I have three little nephews in Lexington Mass who think that Jason Veritek represents some sort of baseball ideal. I feel bad for them, that the guy whom they look up to is a coward and a pussy. But that's life isn't it? Hey, there once was a time when I admired Darryl Strawberry.....

On the plus side, if you're a Sox fan, this was THE GAME of the year to be watching. Not every day you get a 9th inning walk-off home run off Mariano.

Enjoy the moment.

Moment's over.

WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

Schilling was on the mound for the Sox. Kevin Millar hit 3 home runs (bringing his season total to 9, you do the math). The Sox had a lead going into the 6th inning and after falling behind, they tied it up in the 8th. Garciaparra was back in the lineup. Jeter (0-5) has a hairline fracture in his hand, Sheffield needs shoulder surgery, Giambi (0-3) has either a parasite, cancer, or perhaps he's just learning what his abilities look like without steriods, Bernie (2-4) had become a leadoff DH in a 4 for 47 slump, and we put the back-from-surgery underwhelming-thus-far Jon Lieber on the mound....

Yanks win 8-7.

9 1/2 game lead in AL East (10 games in loss column).

EVIL EMPIRE UBER ALLES

This is the face of a Boston Red Sox fan. Bitter. Heartbroken. Defeated. On a bad drunk. Resigned to a lifetime of disappointment, futility, humiliation and disgrace. The names hang in the air like a dying crow: Buckner, Dent, Clemens, Boone, Martinez, Mookie, Grady, RUTH...

Once again, it is time to go back to Fenway. Time to do battle. Time to make 2nd place in the AL East a lonelier, more desolate place, and give these fans, these well-meaning but misguided masochists of the doomed optimism, yet another life lesson.

Let's Play Ball.

Practical Suggestions for the Discerning Music Consumer

10 Reasons Why The White Stripes Blow So Hard

1. No bass player. Using a whammy pedal to simulate the sound of an electric bass only magnifies the absence of any bass playing. Why no bass? Jack White, he no likey to share spotlight.

2. Co-opting Loretta Lynn. Sure, she’s the coal miner’s daughter. We know this because of that one song. One freaking song! And it sucks! (not to mention the ensuing visions of 13-year old Sissy Spacek making the beast with Tommy Lee Jones in a plaid hat—so gross) And this old grandma is like the Bush family’s personal babysitter faux granny figure, a position she secured after the final wizened teat of Babs Bush finally dried up in the West Texas sun. And this is who Jack White wants to hang with? How very sweet. Can’t wait for their softly-lit duet at the Republican National Whorefest next month…

3. Meg White, while impish, dimpled and sporting a slim frame which supports a cantilevered set of natural female mammaries so bountiful as to defy the laws of physics, cannot play the drums. Also, she never once flashes “the twins” at the audience. C’mon Meg, just a teensy peek? Lame.

4. Two microphones. Jack White sings through two microphones—one of them is set normally, like other singers use; the other is loaded with tons of reverb and other crap to make his whiny pathetic nuisance of a voice sound different. Both mics amplify Jack’s voice. Both sound like shit.

5. Terrible slide guitar playing. No self-respecting, reasonably competent slide guitarist uses a standard plectrum. If you do, you’ve abdicated any and all physical contact with the strings, which makes it damn near impossible to play in tune. Jack White is a shitty guitar player, but that's largely beside the point since he has chosen to complement his tinny and derivative playing with the accompaniment of non-musicians—the aforementioned busty but bootless Meg, and the bass player who doesn’t exist.

6. Plagiarism. Unfair, you might say. After all, don’t most blues-influenced musicians lift or purloin various bits from their own heroes? Yes, Virginia, they most certainly do imitate—other blues players (e.g. Eric Clapton stealing every single Freddie King lick, ever; e.g.#2 Eric Clapton stealing Roy Buchanan’s arrangement of “Further On Up The Road”—for further examples, see “10 Reasons Why Eric Clapton is the Most Overrated Musician in History” later in the series). First, listen to The White Stripes' “Fell in Love with a Girl.” Then, listen to The Pretenders’ “Middle of the Road.” Similar? Fuck yes, it’s the same damn song! Mr. Authentic Detroit Blues R&B 20-something Mofo lifting wholesale from the 2nd phase midlife crisis post-punk-snarl Chrissie Hynde? Shit dawg! I think Cleveland just kicked Detroit’s ass again…

7. Movie star dating…so Jack White nailed Renee Zellweger. Hey, who hasn’t? (answer: The Strokes)

8. Fighting with photographers. Dude, that kung fu is weak…Hey Jack, you want a piece of this? Huh? Any day, any time. I’ll come over there and take your picture. You are so pussy.

9. Encores. Jack, when people don’t clap that much after your set, it means your show fucking sucked. Don’t come out and ask why no one’s clapping or if people want to hear an encore or not. We didn’t. And we don’t. [disclaimer: yes, I did go see the White Stripes a few years ago at Bowery Ballroom. The concert was the cultural equivalent of a T.J. Hooker marathon, except no bass player, and William Shatner has two microphones but just one testicle].

10. Listen to The Yardbirds’ Roger the Engineer. You think any of those guys ever wore bright red pants?

P.S. Robert Smith called, he wants his hairdo back…

MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO

Quotation of the Day:

"We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the
sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife
is beautiful and his children smart."

--H. L. Mencken; the Scopes Monkey Trial, which Mencken enjoyed
reporting, ended on this day in 1925

Three Down, Two to Go...

David Jo & Syl Sylvain taking great pains to avoid the salmon mousse.....

Arthur Harold "Killer" Kane Jr., a bass player and charter member of The New York Dolls, died on July 13 from complications of leukemia. He was 55.

In 1971, five cross-dressing musicians combined glam rock and punk to form The New York Dolls. [ed. note: should read "invented" instead of "combined"] After building a dedicated following and touring with The Faces in Great Britain, the group's drummer Billy Murcia drowned in his bathtub. The Dolls hired Jerry Nolan as a replacement, signed with Mercury Records in 1973 and released its self-titled debut, an album that heavily influenced future punk rockers.

Their sophomore effort bore the prophetic title: "Too Much Too Soon." It met with disappointing sales and critical disregard. With the help of manager Malcolm McLaren, the band revamped its image, but failed to nab another record deal. Guitarist Johnny Thunders left the group to form the Heartbreakers while frontman David Johansen and guitarist Syl Sylvain fired Kane. The Dolls eventually disbanded and focused on other projects.

Thunders died from a drug overdose in 1991. Nolan died from a stroke in 1992. Johansen recorded several solo albums as lounge singer named Buster Poindexter, and launched a movie career. Kane went on to play bass with The Corpse Grinders and The Idols.

Earlier this year, Johansen, Sylvain and Kane re-formed the band and performed at Morrissey's Meltdown Festival in London. The new version of The Dolls, which included former Guns N' Roses guitarist Izzy Stradlin and ex-Libertines drummer Gary Powell, had planned to release an album in September and tour with the White Stripes later this year.

[at least we will be spared the moral injustice of witnessing the dolls playing a support slot for the white stripes]

ALLROY SED...

while I was busy studying various waveforms and girlforms in the late 80s, my pal scott reynolds was readying himself for a trip to california to join boyhood neros the descendents in their new incarnation as ALL....

so when the ALL trailblazer made it out east, we enjoyed many an evening in close proximity to actual punk rock.....with the addition of our pal scott, this became a rather fierce combo.....follow the link below for a fan video of one of these early shows....fans of the band will notice that yes, guitarist stephen egerton once had hair! also, their previous omission of descendents tunes from the ALL set ended with our pal scott.....not-great visuals, but OK audio.... crank it up and enjoy a top-notch band about to peak......

http://www.basementshows.com/media/148Kw--ALL-053189AA.wmv

Happy Birthday Caroline Veronica!

Happy Year One to our little Swee' Pea.....and many, many happy returns......

... And I have felt
A presence that disturbs me with the joy
Of elevated thoughts; a sense sublime
Of something far more deeply interfused,
Whose dwelling is the light of setting suns,
And the round ocean and the living air,
And the blue sky, and in the mind of man;
A motion and a spirit, that impels
All thinking things, all objects of all thought,
And rolls through all things. Therefore am I still
A lover of the meadows and the woods,
And mountains; and of all that we behold
From this green earth; of all the mighty world
Of eye, and ear, -- both what they half create,
And what perceive; well pleased to recognize
In nature and the language of the sense,
The anchor of my purest thoughts, the nurse,
The guide, the guardian of my heart, and soul
Of all my moral being.

--w. wordsworth

SHRED DELUXE

Two straight hours of jamming through all seven pickup combinations....bliss...

play along with miles...
play along with muddy...

"I got a fever, and the only cure is....more cowbell!"

SAME AS IT EVER WAS

see below for treatise on these custom configs....note the position of knobs, handy for buch/gatton-style hand-wah and volume/violin effects....

ALL MOD CONS

Here's a 1953 Fender Esquire:

Pretty nice. By mid-1959, this instrument had morphed into the fully-realized Telecaster, and during this year Fender added the following features--a rosewood 'slab' fretboard, and a 3-ply celluloid mint green pickguard. They called it a Telecaster Custom. By mid-2002, after observing that Fender was charging $2500 at NAMM for a basic Esquire reissue (folks, that's two pieces of wood bolted together with one pickup), I set out to build my own, but with the aforementioned "Custom" features of a rosewood slab and mint green pickguard. Success! And all this for less than $600 in parts. After futzing around, eventually morphing it into a telecaster, with a seymour duncan antiquity neck pickup for tele, I decided last night to restore it to its original mint green glory, but with one added feature--a reversed pickup switch & vol/tone control cavity. This way the vol/tone knobs are in reach of the picking hand, and the switch (who needs a switch for one pickup?) is down behind the bridge, and now performs an "on/off" function.

I put the antiquity neck pickup in the strat. That's the silver lining to my little tale. I've never seen or heard any reports of someone installing a chrome tele neck pickup in the strat neck position, but let me tell you, it works for me. Extremely versatile, all pickup combos produce a great-sounding and useful tone. I believe that the change (decrease?) in magnetic field/string pull affects "ring" and "sustain"--now that the output level is more equalized (btw I'm adding the tele antiquity to a pair of strat antiquities) between the strat and tele pickups. With my custom wiring schema, I have seven usable pickup positions--a rather palpable twang monster....and adequate for most genres beyond just rock music....

I'll post pics later in the week.....

next two projects: a "stock" telecaster, and a LP junior (double cutaway, soap bars, "melody maker" style, ala Johnny Thunders)....

GET "FOLKER" 9/7/04

Release Date: September 7, 2004

track listing for "Folker":

1. Jingle (Buy It)
2. When Will We Arrive?
3. My Dad
4. Looking Up In Heaven
5. Any Way It's All Right
6. $100 Groom
7. 23 Years Ago
8. As Far As I Know
9. What About Mine?
10. How Can You Like Him?
11. New Life
12. Gun Shy
13. Folk Star

more info at:
http://members.aol.com/paulspage/news.htm

HERE'S TO THE MAIDEN OF BASHFUL FIFTEEN

Here's to the maiden of bashful fifteen,
Here's to the widow of fifty;
Here's to the flaunting extravagant queen,
And here's to the housewife that's thrifty;

Chorus:
Let the drink pass,
Drink to the lass,
I'll warrant she'll prove an excuse for the glass.

by Richard Brinsley Sheridan, who died on this day in 1816. (from "School for Scandal")

THE RACE IS ON!!!

The NY Post ran a headline today announcing that Kerry had picked Gephardt. It's good to know they've got their best people on this stuff heading into the convention season.....

FROM A FRONT PORCH IN MAPLEWOOD, NJ

BA-BA-BOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!

SWEET LAND OF LIBERTY

...on the way home from july 4th nelsons party yesterday, at sunset......

happy independence day.

YANKS SWEEP SOX IN 13-INNING HEARTSTOPPER!

This game will go down in history as probably the greatest regular season Yankees-Red Sox games every played. Much has been said and written about last year's Game 7, or the Bucky Dent home run, but those were playoff games. This one was merely a game 3 of a sleepy late June/early July series...or was it? It had everything--pitching, veteran vs. rookie, hitting for power, small ball, pitchers plunking hitters, hitters staring down pitchers, strikeouts, home runs, unorthodox defensive moves, players out of position, pacing managers, questionable umpiring, a crowd of 55K who did not leave until it was over when it was over, the mysterious non-participation of Nomar, a solo home run that came within one strike of winning the game (Cairo hit the game-tying RBI with two outs and two strikes) and above all, one of the greatest defensive plays you will ever see--Derek Jeter saving a run, and probably the game, with a head-first dive into the box seats after catching a fly ball while running full bore toward the third base line. I've seen some great ball games in my life--game 6 of the '86 Mets series, game 7 of last year's ALCS, the "Mr. November" game...there are only a handful of games in one's life that rise to that level. Last night was one of them.

After this weekend, there will probably be Mets fans talking about what happened during the three Yanks-Mets games at Shea, as if it amounted to more than a meager farthing of pigeon poo. It doesn't. And it won't. After last night, they should send the roster from AAA Columbus over to Flushing, let them play the Mets, and give these guys the weekend off.

God, I love beating the Red Sox.

Letterman F9/11 Top 10 List

"There's one guy who's very excited about the handover and that's President George Bush. He's thrilled about turning the power back over to Iraq. And you know why? Because he's thinking of invading them again."

"Top Ten George W. Bush Complaints About "Fahrenheit 9/11"

10. That actor who played the president was totally unconvincing.

9. It oversimplified the way I stole the election.

8. Too many of them fancy college-boy words

7. If Michael Moore had waited a few months, he could have included the part where I get him deported.

6. Didn't have one of them hilarious monkeys who smoke cigarettes and gives people the finger.

5. Of all Michael Moore's accusations, only 97% are true.

4. Not sure - I passed out after a piece of popcorn lodged in my windpipe.

3. Where the hell was Spiderman?

2. Couldn't hear most of the movie over Cheney's foul mouth.

1. I thought this was supposed to be about dodgeball!"

YANKEES WIN! YANKEES WIN!

This has been one of the more satisfying regular season Red Sox series in recent memory. First the blowout game, with 11 runs, 4 unearned, the demoralization of Derek Lowe combined with the burgeoning futility of Nomar Garciaparra, followed by last night's come-from-behind victory thanks in part to the Buckner-esque equipment malfunction of David Ortiz and one of the gutsiest at-bats I've ever seen from Mr. Gary Sheffield. Rumor has it that they've begun to talk about renaming right field "sheffield"......

Tonight: Torre's sending in the kid Halsey.....Bring On Pedro!!