May 31, 2006
GOD BOWS TO MATH
...a master of stratocaster torture...
a long-time favorite guitarist of mine, Richard Lloyd (of Television and various Matthew Sweet recordings), offers up one of the more concise and insightful explanations of music theory, the cycle of fifths, and the cosmic underpinnings of the I chord (who knew? it's GOD...) that I've ever read. I don't think he's completely accurate regarding his description of the seemingly random selection of 'C' instead of 'A' as the label for the first note in the cycle (is this ancient "sometime in the middle ages" event even know-able? I guess someone who is in tune with the almighty ought to inquire as to whether the freqencies thereof make the most sense, as labeled), but the rest of it is quite instructive...
from his excellent web site:
"Jazz tunes do move in fourths, but they do so because they follow musical law -- they do not establish musical law. This cycle of fifths/fourths is a representation in musical terms of the Creation from the primordial unity towards number. Without going into a lot of explanation that is best done over a period of time and in person, I can say the following:
Forgetting for the moment about the alphabet, which came later, we will only follow the numbers. The first number is one, represented by the Roman numeral I. This stands at the top of the cycle of fifths/fourths and represents God, or if you will, the Creator or Creative Urge. That is beyond human understanding but we do our best. The one represents wholeness, unity, primordial bliss. Out of his unopposed Will the Creator decides that there should be number. In musical terms we develop the notes through ratio. The first ratio is 1:2; this yields the octave. The second ratio is 2:3; this renders the fifth. The Western world made the rest of the notes by continuing to follow ratios of whole numbers like 3:4, 4:5, etc..., but what most other cultures did and which amounts to the same thing is to take the fifth and use it as a new I thereby to develop yet another fifth, and another fifth from that etc. You get all 12 chromatic tones that way in a cycle of fifths.
Now, all things are separated things -- they all find themselves estranged from that oceanic wholeness and bosom of primordial bliss which is the Unity. All things and all numbers wish to return home to the One. So, they try to climb back up the ladder like salmon swimming upstream. The return journey is the cycle of fourths. However, the cycle never ends and the entire wheel becomes something of an exitless magic circle. Movement along that circle is the perpetual motion machine.
Now, all the numbers say "I". They all think of themselves as the One, but at the same time they are homesick so they move away from themselves in the hopes of conjoining. This yields musical movement.
Let's consider what we would do if we had a musical instrument with overlapping staggered pitches -- not an instrument like a piano or a harp with a string for every chromatic pitch but an instrument with fewer strings. How would we tune them to gain the most musicality? Well, the first choice would be to tune instrument in fifths. That is what symphonic instruments are tuned to, like the violin. This is because symphonies are designed to replicate the August Majesty and creative force of the Creator or of Nature. Instruments tuned in fifths are called classical instruments.
Instruments which are tuned in the other direction -- that is to say, in fourths, are called folk instruments, and they are designed to replicate the supplicating plea of created things to return to the bosom of the primordial bliss. This is one reason why they are used for love songs etc., because in the union of man and woman is a foretaste of the primordial conjoinment. The guitar is a folk instrument principally tuned in fourths.
Although when we look at the instrument we don't see the movement in fourths or fifths but rather we see the vertical movement up a scale. This is a little like looking at cloth. When you look at cloth you see the flat landscape of the cloth but you do not see the action of the needle which ran perpendicular through the cloth in order to create it. The cycle of fifths/fourths runs through music the same way. With my own students we practice almost everything either by fourths or fifths depending. Since every number and every letter says I, it doesn't matter where on the cycle you are.
Sometime in the Middle Ages it was decided that the major scale was so important that a special instrument was designed to emphasize it so that any moron could play a major scale without difficulty. Something like a harp with a string set for every chromatic patch was placed sideways in a box and levers were built so that some of the levers could be offset and others could be emphasize, giving the major scale. This is the piano, which I have a pet name for -- the Major Scale for Dummies. After they did this, the instrument was locked into a pitch structure. Then they had to decide what to name the notes which beforehand were numerical. They decided to use the first seven letters to the alphabet but to distinguish it from the ABCs of writing they decided not to start on A but rather to start on C. This is the reason Western music and written music is entirely in the key of C, and all other musical keys have to be derived from the key of C.
The guitar is not like that. It is not locked into a key except that all of the open strings are notes in the key of C. But once you leave the nut behind the guitar is principally key free, and that means that you can study it numerically rather than alphabetically. But since written music and the piano have a homebase in the key of C., most guitarists have been conditioned to learn everything starting in the key of C. To me, that is not a very sensible approach to an instrument that presents an a priori alphabetical determination of pitch, but it is the common authority.
Rock and popular guitarists are like children in kindergarten. It is easiest for them to play in keys containing open strings. All the open strings on guitar are named notes, but that hardly means that if you study the cycle of fourths you are leaving rock and roll behind, because the cycle is a circle of 12 notes. You will go around and around the whole thing. And if it troubles you, just take the cycle of fourths and re-alphabetize it, putting whenever you want at the top. Just keep the same relationship."
...
& a big ol' stratcat hat tip to the return of "Rescue Me" on Fx...
saying that something is a cliche is itself a cliche, but I'll state the obvious anyway: there's barely anything worth watching anywhere/ever on TV (I am cognizant of my rapid departure from the key target demo) anymore. This is one of the good ones...and if one of your attributes is an Irish lineage, add a star (put another way: do you believe in ghosts?)...
...
I'll spare you the "inane rant" but thought I'd throw this out there--since when did backpacks become de rigueur in the workplace? I submit: a backpack is not a briefcase....
discuss.
...
May 30, 2006
MAYBE PARTYING WILL HELP
...my get-in-shape-for-summer diet...
some updates: I've reorganized the mp3 section so that the various recordings are grouped together by project, and added three files to the newly-created blues trio project ("the handsome blue devils").
we did manage to play a short set on sunday evening over at the local club in town. all told, it's been like falling out of a tree, but without the bone-punishing aspects of gravity--easy to play, fun to select the material, and very enjoyable from a musical standpoint, given the high quotient of improvisation involved.
also, in order to find new and interesting material to cover/re-interpret, I've been forced to go back and revisit the many classic recordings from, for example, the chess label. yeah, that totally sucks. listening to muddy waters and john lee hooker for extended periods of time might accidentally cause me to have a good time. shit.
so please click away on the mp3 files--"right click/save as..." should do the trick. and let me know what you think... comments are gone, but the email link in the righthand column, just under my picture, works...
...
May 27, 2006
I'LL MEET YOU HALFWAY
...at about the halfway point--approx. 10 clear coats...
...a couple coats of tinted clear is bringing out an orange tint in the fiesta red...
...afternoon of a tele...
...this one has required several applications of wet sanding with naphtha...
...classic butterscotch blonde...
...these were taken about an hour after spraying...
...shadows...
...look what leo hath wrought...
...
IF I HAD POSSESSION OVER JUDGMENT DAY
...comments are hereby disabled. the experiment was not a success...
...
May 26, 2006
FLY THE FLAG
Today we welcome back our idol and mentor, Mr. Paul Williams, to help us properly contextualize and dimensionalize the Memorial Day holiday event.
Paul, you’ve never served in the armed forces, have you? They have a height requirement, right?
Oh I wanna be somebody's hero and I wanna make everything right. Nobody else ever made me feel like I might. l just might.
You know, the conventional criticism of Americans is that they’re happy to have the time off work, but very few actually participate in anything having to do with the day itself—honoring veterans, remembering those who have made the great sacrifices to secure our freedoms. How do you celebrate Memorial Day?
When you wake up in the mornin' in the suit that you were born in, feelin' like love, and you tell me the kind of day you planned while you trace little circles inside my hand, oh, love…snuggled up like spoons inside a drawer, closer now than you and I have ever been before, Sunday, let's stay in bed it's Sunday. Though football games and gunplay are all that's on TV, stay beside me Sunday. We'll hibernate 'till Monday. It's good in more than one way. It's cozy and it's free.
That sounds wonderful. On a more serious note, do you expect that the current administration, with its disastrous poll numbers and contentious dealings on the immigration bill, will try yet again to use this holiday to spout some patriotic platitudes and make sound bytes about sacrifice and honor, even though none of them ever served in an active-duty combat unit?
Yes.
How do you feel about the recent verdicts of guilty for disgraced Enron executives Ken Lay and Jeffrey Skilling?
Good for nothin' bad in bed nobody likes you and you're better off dead goodbye.
Do you think George Bush will pardon them?
Yes.
Paul, we know you have a plane to catch. Any parting thoughts?
Time to remember the places you wanted to go. Time to remember the people you wanted to know. Come now to the feather's edge. We'll set our hearts out flying. Come now to the windy thoughts you dared so long ago. There you'll find the perfect state of mind I know. And I will show you a world without time. Come with me and I will give you the secret of pleasure…
HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY EVERYBODY!!!
BRING OUR BOYS HOME!!!!!!!!!
(& ITMFA)
...
May 25, 2006
THE CROOKED BEAT
...every guy has his girl but a guitarist has his pick...
my regular readers will recall a few weeks back how I was singing hallelujah to the celestial heavens over my discovery of the dunlop jazztone series of guitar picks. I was infatuated with the shred-ready aspects of the jazztone 206--the teardrop one. well, it turns out that these picks are really hard to find...on the internet there appears to be only one place to get them in quantity--activemusician.com, which to my eyes is way creepy and impersonal--it would appear to be the greyest of grey marketers, made more creepy by the fact that any listing of the 206, on any "other" web site, has a 'buy it' button that takes you right back to activemusician. I found some at elderly music, but they didn't have a sufficient quantity to make the postage worth the savings. And sure I could get them at Rudy's for 60 cents a pop, but isn't that a little high for a small sliver of mass-produced plastic?
But for some reason, this pick's elder sibling, the 208, is available in ample supply from such known quantities as musiciansfriend.com, and thus armed with buying confidence, I just ordered up 3 dozen. know what? I like 'em better. same point, same thickness, but a slightly wider surface for a better handle, and two other more rounded points that could feasibly be useful for picking as well. very happy with my tiny lurch into the unknown.
and I'm here to tell you--if you're a strat player, you've got to go with the heavy bottom set...
as light as you want on top, but the .052 low E string is the tone sonny jim...
also, a germanium boost and a good tube amp. you can pretty much sell off everything else...well except for maybe a good wah pedal...and an overdrive of course...a good fuzz is handy as well...and a reverb unit...and a second overdrive...and....
...
a friend here in the office was at the gym the other day, having a conversation about "American Idol." She asked if the other person really liked that "guy doing the bad Joe Cocker impersonation" to which the other person replied, "Oh, I don't know who that is"...this anecdote perfectly sums up the phenomenon of "American Idol"...it's crap music for people who don't know the difference. And since Mrs. Stratcat watches the show, I've seen this Taylor Hicks person, and it is indeed a terribly derivative Joe Cocker impersonation (he's mentioned an admiration for Ray Charles--dream on cracker boy). I've heard media descriptions comparing him to Otis Redding, and again I think the only way you could say that with a straight face is if you've never heard an Otis Redding recording. Taylor Hicks is TERRIBLE. He'd be my 3rd alternate choice for a wedding band. He is pudgy. He has grey hair. He has zero marketability. The McPhee girl, on the other hand, can sing, is foxy as hell, can perform without embarrassing herself via unnatural frat-party paroxysms, and has something Mr. Hicks will never have--poise.
Congratulations America. Another blindfolded dive from the cliffs of ignorance into the milquetoast shallows of mediocrity.
...
May 24, 2006
YOU TALK TOO MUCH
I've got a minor case of next-day post remorse. If my treatise stands that golf is a ridiculous phenomenon, then I've already expended too much time and effort castigating it. Also, my grandmother was a super-nice lady.
so let's look at some guitars. here's something along the lines of what we should have built by late June/early July...
this is a '68. fiesta red was a custom color for Fender telecasters--much more common on strats--and as such it's hard to find a picture of one. mine will differ from this image in that it will have a dark rosewood fingerboard and something other than plain-white pickguard. mint green? hand-tooled leather? it remains to be seen...
on the other hand, thudstaff's guitar will be largely put together according to vintage spec's...aside from a compound radius fingerboard and locking tuners, enhancements which are invisible to the naked eye, it should bear a marked resemblance to a '52 or '53 telecaster in both looks and feel (and hopefully, in sound & tone). first we must see how long it will take to put together. then we will see how long before I allow him to take it home....
...
fun lunchtime activity:
The Atheist Test
My Results:
The Ardent Atheist
The results are in, and it appears that you have scored 61%...
You are an atheist, pure and simple. You think God is just one big lie, and consider religious people to be both annoying and beneath you. Ardent atheists will argue tooth and claw for their position, and have no truck with people that won't listen. You think being an atheist is the only way to lead an honest life, and see no reason to accept the pleas of faith. Ardent atheists are the backbone of atheism. Be proud.
Funny. I always thought of myself as more of an agnostic...
...
May 23, 2006
STICKS AND STONES
...melissa etheridge ROCKS!!...
Ordinarily, a day passes and I move on to something else. Usually it’s something fun like guitars or some entertainment I mean to share...but not today. Today I’m still stuck on golf because someone close to me, whom I had no idea was such an avid golfer, called me out for my criticisms of his beloved pastime. He got all serious about my making fun of fatty mcfatty, the john daly person. This grated on my nerves a little--I was making a dumb joke about a dumb guy playing a dumb game on a dumb blog, but still, not nearly as annoying as the game of golf is to me. So, out of respect, and in the interests of clarity, and since my super-serious pal with the golf-is-goodness mission has pushed me to expand upon my glancing shot and fully explicate my thoughts, I’ll provide herewith an expanded list of the aspects of golf that stomp on my last nerve. In no particular order:
It is without question the most boring tv sports programming ever. I’m just saying—if you added bikini girls and explosions to the bowling and fishing shows, I’d be so there…but of course, the bowling & fishing shows don’t get prime time Saturday afternoon coverage. All day. All miserable fucking day. When I was a kid we used to visit my grandmother’s house on certain weekends, with nothing to do aside from the toys we brought with us, so we’d inevitably wind up in the tv room. The golf was on. Always on. All day. no cartoons, no cool shows to help one get through yet another interminable tedium of tinkling glasses and secondhand cigarette smoke. Nope. Just golf. Endless boring pointless golf. The most exciting part was watching my grandfather adjust the antenna to the exact angle at which the grass would take on the proper hue of green. After that, it was nothing but whispering and grass. And don’t even think about changing the channel…
Golf is imbued with a heavy dose of self-loathing. Maybe that’s why it rubs me the wrong way. I like myself. I want myself to have fun, and enjoy what free time I have pursuing activities I’m capable of performing with some degree of competency. I did a quick google search and it’s simply amazing how many products are available which say “I hate golf” on them. The funny thing is: they’re being marketed to golfers! Funny thing is, I couldn’t find any t-shirts or buttons that said “I Hate Fishing” or “I Despise Sex” or “Going to the Beach Sucks Ass”…in fact, all of the “hate golf” web sites are written by people who claim to play the game! It seems that I am in a distinct minority, a critic of a game to which no negative attention is given aside from those who are actual participants! Blimey!
The clothes. My god the clothes. If you like to play, and you take the time to put on the ritual uniform, ask yourself this: why is it that this particular style of clothing is being adopted and co-opted by one of the largest single lesbian cliques in the world—the LPGA? What’s wrong with Anika? She’s a Man-ika…and you’re wearing her outfit.
Fat people – lazy, overfed, disinterested Americans can play this game and count themselves as athletes. I have too much respect for genuine athletes and competitive sports to think of golf as existing within the same frame of reference. Call it what you want—game, pastime, obsession, or even a sport. But I can’t, and I won’t…
Here’s a list of people who aren’t welcome in country clubs – and before you go blabbing to me about Tiger Woods and tax-shelter foundations helping inner-city children, do take a moment to supply me with a demographic profile of the membership at Augusta: no Blacks, no Jews, no Catholics, no poor people, no Hispanic people, no women (unless they’re married to a member)… now I’m not saying I’m against private clubs, and there are certainly people in the world who I don’t want hanging around my own playroom, but that still doesn’t make me want to hang out at a country club. I’ve been to country clubs. I’ve worked there. I’ve been a guest there. They are boring. They are snobbish. The people who go there are assholes. They are cruel and vicious. Don’t go out unprotected on Ladies Day or those bitches will start taking some target practice on anyone in work clothes pushing a mower. When the ball whizzes by your ear, and you realize that you’ve escaped death by about six inches and you hear a distant “sorry” from the tee, followed by a collection of titters and giggles, you will have come face to face with the true spirit of golf.
Perhaps Woody put it best:
“As I was walkin' - I saw a sign there
And that sign said – private property
But on the other side .... it didn't say nothin!
Now that side was made for you and me!”
I'm with Woody...
..
May 22, 2006
FIRST TIME I MET THE BLUES
...need some new shoes for these blues...
on saturday we got together with an old drumming master pal of ours, and played blues covers for about five hours...to the point that we were mentally & physically tired...that was FUN...recorded most of it too...mp3s will be posted...
...
today's evidentiary submission to support my ongoing brief regarding the game of golf...because a game is all it is--if you can be this fat and still call yourself an athlete (and you aren't a japanese man wearing diapers), then it most certainly is not athletics that you are participating in. walking across a grass lawn, with regular breaks to nudge a ball with a stick (and hey fatty--if you're tired at the halfway point, there is a tent set up with a bar inside it), does not a sport make.
...
...kiefer's got a gun...
wha? huh? it's the '24' season finale already? Damn, I kept meaning to tune in, but it turns out that I was so preoccupied with maintaining my own impeccable grooming and jetset hairdo, that I failed to make time to watch kiefer's....but hey, don't start pointing fingers--it takes a lot of time each and every day to ensure that my facial stubble is maintained at exactly the correct length and color. if I could split-screen myself like Keifer can, then sure I'd know what's going on, but once I heard that they killed off that black guy from the all-state commercials, I just didn't feel OK about it. and then I noticed a stray hair out of place, and had to go check it, and then naturally I became totally distracted and missed out on an entire set of key plot moves and super-tense kiefer moments. still, one never gets tired of admiring the impeccable grooming of william devane (is he still on or did they kill him off too?). I mean, there's a guy who's been whitening his teeth and applying just the right amount of pomade ever since "marathon man" and those kennedy flicks...anyway, no time to chat, gotta get back to the bathroom...I think I feel a split-end coming on...
...
May 19, 2006
JESUS GONNA BE HERE
...Heil, Jesus....
...one of them surrounds himself with preening church types and spouts half-truths to the simple-minded, while the other is a mealy-mouthed sonuvabitch who likes to prey on the weak and defenseless....
...can you tell which is which?...
...
Happy 61st Birthday to Rock Operatician and Inventor of the Windmill Picking Technique:
Mr. Peter Dennis Blandford Townshend...
...
May 18, 2006
WHEN I'M 64
...love doesn't come in a minute...sometimes it doesn't come at all...
When I get older losing (dyeing) my hair,
Many years from now.
Will you still be sending me a valentine (affidavit)
Birthday (Lawyers') greetings bottle of wine (Viagra).
If I'd been out (touring the world) till quarter to three
Would you lock the (hotel) door,
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four? (without a pre-nup, no way...)
You'll be older too (but not as old as my children are),
And if you say the word,
I could stay with you (as long as the paparazzi leaves us alone).
I could be handy, mending a fuse (getting a facelift)
When your lights (one of your legs) have gone.
You can knit a sweater (handle publicity) by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride (since walking is obviously out of the question),
Doing the garden, digging the weeds,
Who could ask for more (Who: Heather).
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four.
No, no, and NO…
"Freedom is something that's worth fighting for." --Paul McCartney
...
now that Pearl Jam have become so long in the tooth that they've taken to recording every single one of their concerts and promoting the bootlegs thereof (sound familiar?) and stopped with the hit videos and become just another band, is it now ok to rock the skate shorts and like, like them? just grabbed their new one for shits & giggles...will let you know...
and oh yes, you might have missed this little detail, but it seems that Brian Eno produced the new record from Paul Simon. If that isn't a bona fide sign of the apocalypse, I don't know what is...
...
May 17, 2006
GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES
...butterscotch blondes, that is...
a little showing off today...thudstaff's butterscotch blonde tele with about four coats of reranch aerosol nitro lacquer, right before I began shooting it with clear coats. my camera isn't the greatest, but this is fairly close to the color. this one's turning out better than I'd (cautiously) expected...meanwhile, I'm running low on the fiesta red and hoping it lasts long enough for me to patch up the spots where I had to do some sanding back down to the primer...until I see nothing but red, I have this semi-transparent beauty to ogle...(the guitar, that is)...
...
May 16, 2006
DEATH IS NOT THE END
...Stanley Kunitz, 1905-2006...
End of Summer
An agitation of the air,
A perturbation of the light
Admonished me the unloved year
Would turn on its hinge that night.
I stood in the disenchanted field
Amid the stubble and the stones
Amaded, while a small worm lisped to me
The song of my marrow-bones.
Blue poured into summer blue,
A hawk broke from his cloudless tower,
The roof of the silo blazed, and I knew
That part of my life was forever over.
Already the iron door of the North
Clangs open: birds,leaves,snows
Order their populations forth,
And a cruel wind blows.
The Long Boat
When his boat snapped loose
from its mooring, under
the screaking of the gulls,
he tried at first to wave
to his dear ones on shore,
but in the rolling fog
they had already lost their faces.
Too tired even to choose
between jumping and calling,
somehow he felt absolved and free
of his burdens, those mottoes
stamped on his name-tag:
conscience, ambition, and all
that caring.
He was content to lie down
with the family ghosts
in the slop of his cradle,
buffeted by the storm,
endlessly drifting.
Peace! Peace!
To be rocked by the Infinite!
As if it didn't matter
which way was home;
as if he didn't know
he loved the earth so much
he wanted to stay forever.
Touch Me
Summer is late, my heart.
Words plucked out of the air
some forty years ago
when I was wild with love
and torn almost in two
scatter like leaves this night
of whistling wind and rain.
It is my heart that's late,
it is my song that's flown.
Outdoors all afternoon
under a gunmetal sky
staking my garden down,
I kneeled to the crickets trilling
underfoot as if about
to burst from their crusty shells;
and like a child again
marveled to hear so clear
and brave a music pour
from such a small machine.
What makes the engine go?
Desire, desire, desire.
The longing for the dance
stirs in the buried life.
One season only,
and it's done.
So let the battered old willow
thrash against the windowpanes
and the house timbers creak.
Darling, do you remember
the man you married? Touch me,
remind me who I am.
--Stanley Kunitz
...
May 14, 2006
RED
...first color coat...
the weatherman had it all wrong this week. starting around wednesday, the forecast was for rain. in fact, it did rain a little on wednesday. then a chance of showers on thursday (as I dutifully carry my dorky little umbrella wherever I go), but no chance this time--aside from a late morning spritz (I washed my hands), the sun came out around lunch time. but the payoff was foretold to be friday...again, aside from the middling clouds, not a drop. but don't worry--"the real storm will come tomorrow." so cancel those weekend outings, and rent an extra movie...or so I was told...
so about midday saturday, when thudstaff comes trotting happily up my driveway, reissue p-bass in hand (we realize that it has much more gold and yellow in it than classic butterscotch blonde, but thought it would be handy for a color comparison anyway), it is blaring sun, and I excuse myself to change out of my worker coverall. I am sweating. I had actually planted the last of the grass seed that morning in order to get it on the ground before the precipitation hit. I'd mowed the lawns the night before to--you guessed it--beat the rain. from now on, I'm going to use the occupational nomenclature I was raised with: weather man. because I'm sorry, but if you put an "-ologist" at the end of your job title, you really ought to be able to predict results with some degree of accuracy, and there ain't NEVER any news on meteors coming from these talking hairdo's....but I digress.
and so it was an unexpectedly awesome spring afternoon to spray the first color coats on our telecasters. a happy surprise--the semi-transparent butterscotch blonde went on without a hitch--great concentration of tint, lovely color, and not a run or droplet to mar the surface. three coats and I'm pretty well done. I'd like to get some clear coat on there before I screw it up. the only hitch was a bit of spitting and dripping coming from the can of fiesta red. I'd expected that the problems would've been the other way around, but assuming that something would've gone wrong (and there's always something), I'm happy that it involves a snafu in media that can be easily remedied with a little 600 sanded wet...
that's me shooting the ill-fated first coat of color, looking all official-like...well, it actually went on fine, except for about 3% of the surface area. one more full coat and it ought to start looking like something. thus far, the fiesta red suggests a rich clamato with a dollop of creme fraiche...with some clear coats it really could be quite gorgeous...
oh, and today? mother's day. we owe our mothers a lot. and yet, like most of these "hallmark" occasions, I'm of two minds. I honor it, happily, but if the only time you do something romantic is on valentine's day, or the only time you go to a good party is on new year's eve, or if the only time you think about your country is on july 4th, then you're missing out on a lot, and probably disappointing more people than yourself. so be good to your mom--she won't be around forever. and if you happen to be married to a mom, here's what seems to work for me: shut the fuck up; let her have some peace. she's earned it. and if this advice arrives too late for the holiday, just try it out next weekend. she won't mind. believe me.
...
May 12, 2006
I WON'T LAST A DAY WITHOUT YOU
Welcome back Paul Williams. Hey I know you’ve been on the road these past few weeks, so thanks for taking the time to talk to us. I’ve heard the road is a harsh mistress. You must have seen some crazy things over the years. Any words of wisdom to impart before we move on to current events?
Today the streets are filled with strangers. Calling names and choosing sides, never thinking of tomorrow. More and more we're running blind. Makes you wonder where we're heading…
Alrighty then. Speaking of which: there are new reports suggesting that the NSA is tapping domestic phone calls even more than was previously known. What’s your take? -- necessary to fight terrorism or a dangerous infringement on civil liberties?
Has the world begun to rise to a storm? With a whisper of the wind that's begun to blow, doesn't anybody know where does it end, where will it go?
Boxing legend Floyd Patterson died this week. I know that you’re a fan of “the sweet science.” Any thoughts on the man’s life and legacy?
So you wanna be a boxer in the golden ring. Can you punch like a south-bound freight train? Tell me just one thing. Can you move in a word like a humming bird's wing? If you need to, can you bob, can you weave, can you fake, and deceive when you need to? Well, you might as well quit if you haven't got it. So you wanna be a boxer, can you pass the test? I can tell you've got it in you--I've trained the best. When you work and you sweat and you bet that you train to a buzz-saw then you near lose your mind, when you find that your little boy has a glass jaw. So you might as well quit if you haven't got it. Well show him the ropes and destroy his hopes. We'll pulp him to bits, then he'll call it quits for sure, Joe.
If you listen and you learn, there's an honour you can earn and defend here. When you do see the crown, you're a king not a clown. A contender…
President Bush is at his lowest point yet in terms of approval rating. Other Republicans are now distancing themselves from him. The governer of Kentucky was just indicted. Senator George Allen is a big confederate flag lover. Porter Goss was fired from the CIA amidst a mounting cloud of scandal and rumors involving gambling and prostitution. The Plame investigation seems to be getting closer and closer to Karl Rove. Just coincidence, right?
Bad guys, we're the very worst. Each of us contemptible, we're criticised and cursed. We made the big time, malicious and mad. We're the very best at being bad.
Against this backdrop of corruption, war and scandal, the Senate just passed an extension of the President’s tax cuts. It seems that they’re jockeying for points with the 2006 elections around the corner. In light of our staggering budget deficit, in a time of war, was this irresponsible political bartering, or sound fiscal policy?
Lone star, on your roller coaster ride, How much longer can you keep it all inside? Are you happy under cover? Would you like to take a lover?
Barry Bonds is being given every opportunity to break the Babe’s record at home in San Francisco. Do you see this as a gift to the fans, or is that just spin for what is essentially damage control--due to the fact that he’d probably get booed anywhere else?
Am I living an illusion, wanting something I can't see? If I compromise I'd be living lies, pretending love’s not meant to be. Cause I know my hearts worth saving, and I know he'll be waiting. So I'll hold on and I'll stay strong till then…
Christianists are getting ready to protest the “Da Vinci Code” feature film. Do you find it ironic that these protests will effectively serve as publicity for a film that already has "blockbuster" written all over it? And what’s with Tom Hanks new hairdo?
For goodness sake, so many people crying something's missing. We try to help them but they just won't listen. Sometimes the truth can be a rocky road to take. We do our best for goodness sake…
The fight over immigration legislation continues. What’s your solution to the impasse?
When there's no getting over that rainbow, when my smallest of dreams won't come true, I can take all the madness the world has to give, but I won't last a day without you…
Ladies and Gentlemen, a warm round of applause for the legend himself: Mr. Paul Williams. Thanks Paul, and be safe...
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May 11, 2006
I FEEL LIKE GOING HOME
...the greatest, the coolest, the baddest, the hoochie coochie man...
the year is 1978. I am 15. I hang out mainly in my friend's basement, where his older brothers have a stereo, which they play very loudly (they're in high school), and a fender stratocaster. sunburst. one record of theirs that floors me is called "Johnny Winter Live And"...in particular, a cut called "mean town blues" which is as close to black magic or voodoo as I've ever heard at that young age. Not yet hip to the technique of the bottleneck slide, I can only guess at what I imagined this albino texan wildman was doing to coax those sounds from his guitar. I was instantly hooked. I find out a short while later that this same guy had produced the "comeback" album of an older bluesman named Muddy Waters, called "Hard Again." Said LP is acquired by older brothers and placed on turntable. a blast of guitar and harp and a lot of attendant hollering punctuates the intro to "Mannish Boy." my life is changed forever.
1978 was also the year that punk broke on these shores (we can quibble about the ramones' activities starting in 1976, and various genre-birthing events in 1977, but for the sake of argument, I was 15, was living 250 miles from NYC, so for me--punk broke that year)...the latter seemed to have a more substantial effect on me in the context of angst and coming-of-age and all that, but the blues was more organic, and lasting. it was an element that suffused everything, and continues to do so.
and now, after several decades of playing with bands that were loud, waited for their slot to come up at cbgb, dealt in aggression and bombast and generally speaking, circled the island known as punk, I am embarking on my first ever blues band. I'm excited.
...muddy played a red telecaster. so too (soon) will I...
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May 10, 2006
CHEATER
...no one cares...
hear that? that silence? that's the whole world's reaction (well, outside of san francisco) to Barry Bonds' imminent breaking of Babe Ruth's career home run record.
the sad fact of the matter is that Barry was already Hall of Fame material--40/40/40 seasons, all five skills, an ability that anyone could point to and assess as one of, if not the best, in the sport.
but we all know why he was able to put up such stellar numbers after reaching the age of 35. he had a little "extr-ee"... and this is the last you'll be hearing about Bonds in this space. there is a reason that people still mention Ruth's record, even though it was broken by Hank Aaron a few decades back--he did it using beer & cigars. not needles.
and if Bonds gets into Cooperstown, someone please explain to me why they'd still keep out Pete Rose and Shoeless Joe...
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May 09, 2006
SOMETHING TO DU
...midget basketball, one of the few things I didn't do this weekend...
All's well in Lexington Mass., and so it was that we found everyone during our recent family visit...cousins/nephew/nieces, siblings, siblings' spouses, and lots and lots of youth sports. I had the unfortunate experience of spraining my ankle while trying to play some soccer in stiff tennis shoes. hurt like hell. kept me from attending two of the little league games. but the cookout continued apace, and I even managed to throw some batting practice (on crutches) for the youngsters, whose skills are advancing rapidly. there was also some intensified interest in the guitar, and I did my best to tune up the (fender's costco instrument) surprisingly solid playing/sounding "starcaster" and re-string a small classical and bestow the first communicant (the occasion for our special trip) with a nifty new effects unit for his guitar/amp setup. while we were gone, a copious carpet of pea green pollen settled onto all external household surfaces back home, and I was sneezing and coughing the second I emerged from the rockin' red honda...the sprain kept me home from work yesterday, but today I managed to make my way up the escalators and busy avenues to get to work.
today is the 10th anniversary of the only blind date I've ever had--as it turns out, it was with my future baby mama...what's to say? history was made. yet another collision of humans being. one day I'll tell my daughter all about it. meanwhile, here's the skinny: we're going to lunch. same place we had the date. romantic? we'll see.
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May 04, 2006
GOLD STAR FOR ROBOT BOY
...if you thought Stephen Colbert's performance at the White House Correspondents Dinner wasn't funny, or was disrespectful, and/or you've already written something to that effect on a right-wing or left-wing blog and/or msm media property...
AND...
...if you thought the SNL "cupcakes of narnia" sketch was a premier slice of side-splitting, funny, first-rate comedy....
then dude I'm sorry but we can't hang out anymore...
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May 03, 2006
LIVIN' LA VIDA LOCA
...stratcat believes in encouraging a more pluralistic society...
Himno nacional - La Bandera de Estrellas
Amanece: ¿no veis, a la luz de la aurora,
Lo que tanto aclamamos la noche al caer?
Sus estrellas, sus barras flotaban ayer
En el fiero combate en señal de victoria,
Fulgor de cohetes, de bombas estruendo,
Por la noche decían: "!Se va defendiendo!"
Coro:
!Oh, decid! ¿Despliega aún su hermosura estrellada,
Sobre tierra de libres, la bandera sagrada?
En la costa lejana que apenas blanquea,
Donde yace nublada la hueste feroz
Sobre aquel precipicio que elévase atroz
¡Oh, decidme! ¿Qué es eso que en la brisa ondea?
Se oculta y flamea, en el alba luciendo,
Reflejada en la mar, donde va resplandeciendo
Coro:
!Aún allí desplegó su hermosura estrellada,
Sobre tierra de libres, la bandera sagrada!
¡Oh así sea siempre, en lealtad defendamos
Nuestra tierra natal contra el torpe invasor!
A Dios quien nos dio paz, libertad y honor,
Nos mantuvo nación, con fervor bendigamos.
Nuestra causa es el bien, y por eso triunfamos.
Siempre fue nuestro lema "¡En Dios confiamos!"
Coro:
!Y desplegará su hermosura estrellada,
Sobre tierra de libres, la bandera sagrada!
(Versión en español de Francis Haffkine Snow. Copyright 1919)
Source: Programas De Informacion Internacional, USINFO.STATE.GOV
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May 02, 2006
FOREVER YOUNG
...let's impeach the president...
I downloaded Neil Young's latest, the polemic against Bush, "Living with War" and you know what? It sounds like hell. Just some mp3 rips off of the streaming audio feed. I am looking forward to hearing a better quality version, because know what? The songs are really good.
The album was put together just over a month ago--written, recorded, mixed/mastered/pressed in, literally, a matter of days...one source I read reported Neil writing as many as three songs in one day--and several of the recorded versions are first takes...but that's not to say that it's 100% three-chord strumma-strumma with some political lyrics. From the opening lick of "Living With War" with Neil's guitar line doubled with trumpet (a rather cool effect that somewhat resembles a synth line), to the use of a choir, this was obviously a recording project which involved some thoughtful planning and arranging, with enough budget to get good quality results despite the quick 'n' dirty garage rock techniques and straight-to-internet delivery mechanism.
I suppose I was always a bit more of an "& Crazy Horse" fan than I was of the softer acoustic stuff, and as such I find myself more drawn to this than I was to the critically-acclaimed "Prairie Wind" of a few months ago (although "He Was The King" is still on heavy rotation in my iPod).
In any case, the price is right--go grab some tunefully righteous indignation from this famous Canadian for yourself....
...
THIS JUST IN:
...faster! pussycat! kill! kill!...
HIGHLIGHTS FROM STEPHEN COLBERT'S MONOLOGUE AT THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS' DINNER
(unfunny? only if you work for the press...or the president):
I believe the government that governs best is the government that
governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous
government in Iraq.
Fox News gives you both sides of every story, the president's side and the
vice president's side.
Here's how it works. The president makes decisions, he's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know -- fiction.
It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, because your
grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.
Mayor Nagin is here from New Orleans, the chocolate city. Yeah, give it
up. Mayor Nagin, I would like to welcome you to Washington, D.C., the
chocolate city with a marshmallow center.
Joe Wilson is here, the most famous husband since Dezi Arnaz.
I mean, it's like the movie "Rocky." The president is Rocky, and Apollo Creed is...everything else in the world. It's the 10th round. He's bloodied, his corner man, Mick, who in this case would be the vice president, and he's yelling "Cut me, Dick, cut me!" And every time he falls she says stay down! Does he stay down? No. Like Rocky he gets back up and in the end he -- actually loses in the first movie.
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