October 31, 2006
I DID NOT KNOW THAT
...interesting, but what's the explanation for candy corn?...
"Halloween's origins date back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in). The Celts, who lived 2,000 years ago in the area that is now Ireland, the United Kingdom, and northern France, celebrated their new year on November 1. This day marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of the dark, cold winter, a time of year that was often associated with human death. Celts believed that on the night before the new year, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On the night of October 31, they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth. In addition to causing trouble and damaging crops, Celts thought that the presence of the otherworldly spirits made it easier for the Druids, or Celtic priests, to make predictions about the future. For a people entirely dependent on the volatile natural world, these prophecies were an important source of comfort and direction during the long, dark winter.
To commemorate the event, Druids built huge sacred bonfires, where the people gathered to burn crops and animals as sacrifices to the Celtic deities. During the celebration, the Celts wore costumes, typically consisting of animal heads and skins, and attempted to tell each other's fortunes. When the celebration was over, they re-lit their hearth fires, which they had extinguished earlier that evening, from the sacred bonfire to help protect them during the coming winter.
By A.D. 43, Romans had conquered the majority of Celtic territory. In the course of the four hundred years that they ruled the Celtic lands, two festivals of Roman origin were combined with the traditional Celtic celebration of Samhain. The first was Feralia, a day in late October when the Romans traditionally commemorated the passing of the dead. The second was a day to honor Pomona, the Roman goddess of fruit and trees. The symbol of Pomona is the apple and the incorporation of this celebration into Samhain probably explains the tradition of "bobbing" for apples that is practiced today on Halloween.
By the 800s, the influence of Christianity had spread into Celtic lands. In the seventh century, Pope Boniface IV designated November 1 All Saints' Day, a time to honor saints and martyrs. It is widely believed today that the pope was attempting to replace the Celtic festival of the dead with a related but church-sanctioned holiday. The celebration was also called All-hallows or All-hallowmas (from Middle English Alholowmesse meaning All Saints' Day) and the night before it, the night of Samhain, began to be called All-hallows Eve and, eventually, Halloween. Even later, in A.D. 1000, the church would make November 2 All Souls' Day, a day to honor the dead. It was celebrated similarly to Samhain, with big bonfires, parades, and dressing up in costumes as saints, angels, and devils. Together, the three celebrations--the eve of All Saints', All Saints', and All Souls', were called Hallowmas."
...witchie poo?...
With thanks and all credit to The History Channel (and delanceyplace.com).
...
JUST A LITTLE PATIENCE YEAH YEAH YEAH
...it's just a piece of wood, right?...
what you are looking at is the product of two entire applications of fender neck amber, sprayed on patiently, in multiple coats, and then sanded off completely. wasted? pretty much. under the age-old rubric of learning-things-the-hard-way (I am president of the local chapter here), it took me a while to figure out the best working formula (you reranchers take note)...two coats of tinted clear lacquer, followed by a dusting of the amber dye, seems to work best for establishing coverage with appropriate color. applied alone, the maple just isn't porous, or flat enough, to catch the amber dye and set it in one place without running. and tint runs on a curved surface makes a big ugly...
and now, after a month of frustrating false starts and re-starts, it's fixed. and I can start filing grooves into bone and get ready for my wet sanding routine (things that I, for once, seem to know how to do). sooner or later, there'll be a new telecaster in the world.
and a new strat.
and another tele.
and a jazz bass.
and a repaired les paul.
and a repaired lap steel.
and...
...
October 30, 2006
CALL OUT THE DOGS
...this is the face of Donald Rumsfeld's America...
NYT caption: Sidney Dyer with her mother, Jodi, at Mr. Dyer’s burial. Mr. Dyer, 38, of Cocoa Beach, Fla., was killed in Afghanistan.
I've largely stopped posting things of a political nature. It's just too much. There is so much media manipulation, so much greed and dishonesty, but mostly there is so much apathy amongst the general populace that it doesn't make sense to expend so much energy riffing away on whatever shitstorm the day provides...plenty of others do it better, and do it full-time...however, I will say this much today: please vote.
This election really needs to be overwhelming. We can expect that the Cheney operatives, via Diebold, are out there doing their thing to swing close races their way. We can expect to be surprised, and maybe even heartbroken, if the experiences of 2000 & 2004 are in any way duplicated. But mainly I just hope that the experience of Sidney Dyer, and the thousands of Sidneys across the country, has an impact on voters' decisions. Because one must remember that it was this Republican congress which enabled all the bad governance of the Bush administrations by rubber-stamping any and all war-related power grabs--the suspension of habeas corpus being only the most recent, and heinous. This is the administration that upholds and supports all that Secretary Rumsfeld has done, or more to the point, has failed to do. And a congress that has backed that support, for a military strategy that defies any reasonable logic, and in fact defied the previously effective (Powell) doctrine of overwhelming force.
I'm no military expert, but if you send in insufficient troops, you're more likely to get a higher number of little girls (or boys) crying because their daddy (or mommy) was killed. And this benchmark, to me, makes a lot of sense. It clarifies rather adroitly--whose children are crying? Why?
And it isn't going to be easy voting for NJ senator Bob Menendez, who disgracefully voted yes on the recent military commissions act, and appears to be a corrupt scumbag of the first order, following in the bloviational footsteps of Bob Toricelli, but vote for him I will, since the young Tom Kean Jr., as a junior senator, would necessarily have to be a bush/rumsfeld enabler just to stay in the good (aka moneyed) graces of Mehlman/Rove & co. What we need now, more than anything else, is a strong opposition to this evil cabal in the white house, and the vagaries of voting "on the merits" is too dangerous, now that we can see that the party in power is so ruthless with their majority that they will stop at nothing, even if it means casting aside the Bill of Rights...
Sidney Dyer is six years old. If you vote the Republican line this time around, maybe you can explain why to her.
Please vote.
...
October 28, 2006
ALMOST BLUE
...one last look at a natural-finish strat in all its vintage 1974 glory...besmirched already...visions of bell bottoms and pure praire league and little feat and patchouli-scented lava lamps...long-bearded stoners stepping on creaky wah pedals...outtasight...
...newly coated in a translucent hue of blue blue blue...
...
DYE MONSTER DYE
...you and me, think how happy we will be, dancing 'neath the deep blue sea...
Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that does fade,
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
--W. Shakespeare
They said, "You have a blue guitar,
You do not play things as they are."
The man replied, "Things as they are
Are changed upon the blue guitar."
--W. Stevens
...
BETTER LIVING THROUGH CHEMICALS
...from this...
...to this...
sure she looks nice but can she talk?
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October 26, 2006
RIGHTEOUS ASSKICKING REPUBLICANS
...wish you were here...
where have I been? vacation time sisterfriend...here I am just kicking it with my partners in crimefighting and general asskickery, the Righteous Asskicking Republicans. In this scene, we can be seen as per our usual off-duty time, engaging conversationally in a casual ad lib fashion, mounting a bull session, or otherwise kibbitzing...that's me on the right...
it's been quiet in the camp. only the occasional sound, now and again the peppering static from the nearby rifle range, or the grumble of a morning transport truck, but otherwise nothing. so, a good time to kill a few Tom Clancy novels, have a few pops at the officers' club, maybe even go off the grid for some outdoor r&r, lobbing horseshoes and/or hand grenades...there just isn't enough time to get to everything....
crimefighting resumes in earnest on monday.
hang ten.
...
October 24, 2006
NOT A BELLY ITCHER
...amazing how he suddenly became Christy Mathewson, isn't it?...
IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED. It's pine tar. He's rubbing it on the ball to make it move in an unhittable way. Also known as a spitball. mud ball. shine ball. Gaylord Perry came out of retirement to comment in the press. When Gaylord Perry is advising one on the proper type of pine tar to use (he claims that the North Carolinian variety is clear, and therefore less visibly detectable), I think we can state with some degree of confidence that IT ISN'T DIRT.
And so, I am relieved to learn that there is actually a reason for Mr. Rogers' sudden big-game dominance. With a career that includes many episodes of crumpling performances in big games, with at least two (three? four?) key losses in both Yankee and Met postseason competitions, it's no wonder that he's taking extra measures now, in what are most likely the last postseason games of his career, to transform himself into an effective pitcher.
Not exactly the stuff of immortality, even if it is in a world series. When the media comes questioning, I wonder how many cameramen he'll assault?
...
October 20, 2006
October 18, 2006
WOMAN TONE
...where are the knobs?...
Another proud milestone in my burgeoning DIY music gear career...last night I finished my first build--a clone of a classic fuzz face. 60s specs all the way. I even left off (mistakenly) the louder 1K thingy that adds more headroom.
The custom color scheme is courtesy of my daughter, who applied markers and glitter glue until a desired result was achieved. When asked if more could be added, or if other colors might be considered, the same response came again and again: "it's done daddy"...ok baby, you're right. it's done.
but how does it sound? will it merit inclusion in the master pedalboard, a place of high scrutiny and impatience, a slab from which many worthy competitors (sweetsound ultra-vibe, keeley ds-1, prescription electronics yardbox, fulltone fulldrive2 and ultimate octave, line6 modulation modeler, amongst others) have been removed for reasons of either tone or real estate?
So far, the verdict would seem to be affirmative. First of all, it does have the volume pot clean-up effect, though not quite as pronounced as my go-to signal enhancer, the rangemaster boost clone (another germanium-based circuit). However, it certainly behaves as a lovely, singing, additive stage to the boost stage, and while the boost enhances the upper mids and highs really well, the fuzzface really pumps the mids (and low end too, if tweaked as such), providing a strong push in that area where a stratocaster transforms its voice into something you would only otherwise hear on the stage of the metropolitan opera--a singing, quavering woman tone. between these two boxes in tandem, I've got a lot of my bases covered.
And oh yes-sir-ee, the hendrix tones are there in abundance.
The jury is still out on another issue--whether or not I've caught "the bug" with these homemade pedals. it's a lot of soldering, hunching over a schematic, fussing over tiny little components, and my eyes are failing toward far-sightedness fairly rapidly. After a summer of DIY guitar-building (which is leading into a similar winter--I've got a strat, two telecasters, and a jazz bass all in various stages of production), perhaps I'm just jonesing to spend more of my free time on one of my very favorite pastimes: playing the guitar.
...
October 17, 2006
DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE TO THE RADIO
...perhaps "consumer guide" is too grandiose? after all, insects live in my fur...
DID YOU EVER WAKE UP WITH THEM BULLFROGS ON YOUR MIND? With all apologies to the late great Rory Gallagher, neither have I. Nor am I, despite some persistent allegations, prone to hopping. Or even hip-hopping. Which suggests that I have much in common with Beck, America’s favorite funkyfly scientologist. His newest release, “The Information” has much to recommend. First of all, it is consistently and overwhelmingly bland. Bland, like the flavor consistency between two spoonfuls of vanilla pudding. And maybe once in a while, an oreo cookie crumb falls from the side of your mouth and—surprise!—you get a little cookie crunch. Then, more vanilla. It’s bland in the same way that cable news is bland—TONIGHT’S STORIES—announced with trumpets and drums and heavily coiffed serious people intoning the life-or-death (or not) situations that are happening so definitely. Somewhere. Else. Not. Here.
...may I be excused?...
And thank goodness for that. I praise Beck for getting his skinnywhiteboy heckaslammin beatbox jivetalkin’ going on, and indeed getting it on somewhere else, far from here. You can feel the distance, and appreciate it. This distance from the dancefloor is the very same spatial remove that put Moby’s “Play” on each and every car and airline tv spot for a solid two years. And that’s just what this here platter is ripe for – product placement.
So, to sum up: sagacious scientologist sings and stammers sassy singsongs of sameness. The boom-thwack is machined, the flavoring is omni-palate and room temperature (you supply your own cookie), and the end result is a polite collage of fauxword fashion and tamed toe-tappery, prelude to an imminent cascade of greenbacks. as such: poised for global dominance. Big units, product tie-in’s, movie soundtracks, tv ads, the works. Reduce the ramalama, still the strumma-strumma, and let’s all dance in a circle. Then again, maybe you’re too tired… A-
...
October 16, 2006
THEN AGAIN TOO FEW TO MENTION
...CBGB, typically only seen this empty during afternoon soundcheck...
...descriptions of experiences in this room are being saved for my memoirs...
...the ny times might call this the ladies room, but nobody much cared who went where...
...and so an icon of my youth falls victim to the changing times...it would have been nice to have seen one (or both) of my parents at one of my gigs there (or anywhere else), but other than that, no regrets...we had a fucking riot...
...
October 15, 2006
YOU CAN'T PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND A MEMORY
...I stole this from The New York Times...
By Richard Hell
CBGB’S shuts down this weekend.
There’s not too much left to say about the character of the joint. It’s the most famous rock ’n’ roll club in the world, the most famous that there ever has been, and it’s just as famously a horrendous dump. It’s the archetypal, the ur, dim and dirty, loud, smelly and ugly nowhere little rock ’n’ roll club. There’s one not much different from it in every burg in the country.
Only, like a lot of New York, CBGB’s is more so, way more so. And of course, for three or four years in the mid-70’s, it housed the most influential cluster of bands ever to grow up — or to implicitly reject the concept of growing up — under one roof.
On practically any weekend from 1974 to 76 you could see one or more of the following groups (here listed in approximate chronological order) in the often half-empty 300-capacity club: Television, the Ramones, Suicide, the Patti Smith Group, Blondie, the Dictators, the Heartbreakers, Talking Heads, Richard Hell and the Voidoids, and the Dead Boys. Not to mention some often equally terrific (or equally pathetic) groups that aren’t as well remembered, like the Miamis and the Marbles and the Erasers and the Student Teachers. Nearly all the members of these bands treated the club as a headquarters — as home. It was a private world. We dreamed it up. It flowered out of our imaginations.
How often do you get to do that? That’s what you want as a kid, and that’s what we were able to do at CBGB’s. It makes me think of that Elvis Presley quotation: “When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books, and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies, and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream I ever dreamed has come true a hundred times.” We dreamed CBGB’s into existence.
The owner of the club, Hilly Kristal, never said no. That was his genius. Though it’s dumb to use the word genius about what happened there. It was all a dream. Many of us were drunk or stoned half our waking hours, after all. The thing is, we were young there. You don’t get that back. Even children know that. They don’t want their old stuff thrown away. Everything should be kept. I regret everything I’ve ever thrown away.
CBGB’s was like a big playhouse, site of conspiracies, orgies, delirium, refuge, boredom, meanness, jealousy, kindness, but most of all youth. Things felt and done the first time are more vivid. CBGB’s is where many things were felt with that vividness. That feeling is the real identity of the club, to me. And it’s horrible, or at least seriously sad, to lose it. But then, apparently, we aren’t really going to lose it.
CBGB’s is going to be dismantled and reconstructed as an exhibit in Las Vegas, like Elvis. I like that. A lot. I really hope it happens as intended.
It’s occurred to me that Hilly’s genius passivity is something he has in common with Andy Warhol. Another trait of Warhol’s was that he fanatically tried to keep or record everything that ever happened in his vicinity, from junk mail in “time capsules” to small talk to newspaper front pages and movie star publicity shots to 24 hours of the Empire State Building.
We all know that nothing lasts. But at least we can make a cool and funny exhibit of it.
I’m serious. God likes change and a joke. God loves CBGB’s.
Richard Hell, a musician, is the author of the novel “Godlike” and the film critic for BlackBook magazine.
[Ed. Note: Quine Lives]
...
October 14, 2006
I'M ON FIRE
...just look at that flame...
new goodies...new projects...fancy lumber...metallurgy...vaporous compounds...here beginneth tone slab III...
...
October 13, 2006
LENNY
...Lenny Bruce--Leonard Alfred Schneider of Mineola--was born 81 years ago today...
Happy Birthday Maestro...
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.
If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
The "what should be" never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no "what should be," there is only what is.
The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.
Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone.
If something about the human body disgusts you complain to the manufacturer.
In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.
Take away the right to say 'f*ck' and you take away the right to say 'F*ck the Government.'
There are never enough I Love You's.
...
I AM SPARTACUS
...mr. glavine, thou art stud...
pop quiz: which new york baseball team placed its postseason fate in the hands of a 40-plus, once-great pitcher?
and won?
twice?
...it ain't the Yanks, obviously. their biggest postseason story came from a pitcher who never took the mound in the postseason (nor ever will he)...nope, it's the Mets. And last night's performance by Tom Glavine should be a model for anybody who wants to pitch in the big leagues--work the corners, use movement and change of speeds to keep hitters guessing, and since this is the National League, shut them down all the way, so when your team finally squeezes out a few runs, they count (final score, 2-0). You might say I'm describing Kenny Rogers from the other night, but that was a freak of nature. Rogers had always been a chump and a loser in postseason play until that night. Glavine has been winning big games ever since he donned the ignominious colors of Atlanta...
respect.
...
October 11, 2006
I'M PICKING OUT A THERMOS FOR YOU
....new fuzzface enclosure, as illustrated by my daughter, age 3...yep, that's glitter glue...
...the night I was born, lord I swear the moon burned a fire red...
...
CHOMPERS THE MEDIA SAVVY SQUIRREL
...let's hurry this up; I'm double-booked for lunch, and it's acorn season...
Greetings ignorant humans, it is I, Chompers, here once again to demystify the various doings amongst your fellow sapiens...
Since I often moonlight as a political consultant for the GOP (it's not a secret that Republicans love rodents), I'm only going to say this once: Blame Clinton. It's the strategy that I came up with on September 12, 2001, and I see now reason to change now. North Korea is a problem? Huh. Blame...you know how. Your wife is giving you a hard time? Well then, isn't it just a direct result of the permissiveness and pandering that went on during the 1990s? I mean, your wife is a woman; Hilary is a woman. I rest my case.
And while we're on the subject of tiny-penised reality evaders such as Kim Jong Il...
...let's give House Speaker Denny "Rotunda" Hastert a break on this Foley thing. I mean, listen...the guy's a personal friend. All these allegations about him having a predilection for receiving anal sex, to me that just sounds like the spouting of a lot of jealous democrats. Let them man have his hobbies. He's under a lot of pressure.
He's sorry. so sorry. However, I still say that the jury's out. I'm waiting to hear what Rosie O'Donnell has to say. After all, if she can stomach Tom Cruise circa 2006, maybe she can help us find reason to start throwing good money at bad movies again. Let's face it--the "Passion of the Christ," for all the money it made, had one heck of a bummer ending! Maybe now that he's sober, his whole perspective will improve. And let's just hope he has the good sense not to compound his problems and piss off the Mayans....
...
October 06, 2006
KISS KISS BOO BOO
Q: Welcome back Paul Williams. Hey Paul, I know that you love children. I wonder, if you could say one thing to ex-congressman Foley, what would it be?
PW: Have you been half asleep, and have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name. Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors? The voice might be one and the same.
Q: Yes. Yes. You seem rather conciliatory-even forgiving-in your tone. Could it be possible to find some sort of reconciliation-even forgiveness-in the aftermath of this burgeoning scandal?
PW: It's a lesson that I've learned and a page I should have turned.
Q: A "page?"
PW: When a road I've walked before ends alone at my front door, I shoudn't cry, but I do.
Q: It must be so exchausting to be the conscience for the whole world. God Bless you Paul Williams. Now, let’s turn to another item in the news—the new Bob Woodward book, “State of Denial.” Have you had a chance to read it? Do you plan to?
PW: No. No.
Q: Are you concerned about the loss of constitutional freedoms, like habeas corpus? How would you react if you or someone close to you was abducted indefinitely based on a suspicion of guilt?
PW: All souls last forever, so we need never fear goodbye. A kiss when I must go, no tears. In time, we kiss hello…
Q: As always, you're big on kissing. And you trailed off into a haze of intense emotion there. Would you like to take a break? How about a latte?
PW: Love the quiet times. Talk with our bodies. That's the way we know best-soul rest.
Q: Your poetic vision humbles me. And the world. Your poignancy intoxicates, like an old cognac on a cold day. You force me to look inward and confront my shortcomings and failures. Speaking of which, have you been following the baseball playoffs? I know you’re a west coast guy, but it looks like the Dodgers and Padres are in trouble. Who are you rooting for?
PW: you played it well. It isn't hard to tell you love it too. It amazes me to hear it--how its beauty never ends. So play it one more time. Let those tears and sweet memories flow…go Yanks...
Q: And remember, there's no crying in baseball! Kidding. You can cry. I'll cry too. Ladies and Gentlemen, a warm round of applause for Mr. Paul Williams.
...
October 05, 2006
THE CONSUMER GUIDE (CECIL TAKES ON HIP HOP NATION)
...don't parse my words too closely; I chase fire trucks...
I WANT TO LET YOU IN ON A LITTLE SECRET of mine: I'm really more of a light classics/steely dan on the weekends kind of canine. Not that I haven't had my crazy times back in the kennel, but I guess you could say that I've mellowed. Plenty of poops & pups in my wake, if you get my meaning. Forgive me this Sinatra moment, but I just thought it might help clarify a few things, since I've been receiving some fan mail lately that speaks to a stark misinterpretation of my alleged function here. Apparently there are a few of you out there who went ahead and purchased the Jessica Simpson record, based on what you thought was a recommendation on my part.
This could not be further from the truth.
I am what you might call an analyst, an observer, a cheerleader for the capitalist enterprise housed within the mega-corporate entertainment conglomerates that issue this dreck. I evaluate them just as any insider would. And when I saw the cleavage, the botox, and heard those synthetic beats, it was a heart-shaped dollar sign that warmed my pug-sized cockles. I say let's give her the 2007 Grammy right now and be done with it.
Some of you, however, got the impression that I was evaluating it as a listening experience. What? Listen to this spew? I'd rather have my sac shaved and wear a matching pink bow & sweater combo to the dogwalk.
...lupe es supe dupe...
with that in mind, I was recently corresponding with a grumpy old setter about the current state of rap music. as far as I'm concerned, things have never been better...from the everpresent dash of snoop dawg (bow wow wow!) to the mainstream ambitions of outkast, from the always-classy missy elliott to the brash political commentary of kanye west, hip hop is now the lingua franca, and ignore it at your peril. Do I like the new Lupe Fiasco CD? Does it matter? It's going to be huge. Stretch those limbs, Soul Train dancers! He's coming down to lip-sync! Watch out Jessica S., you're gonna have his baby! Keep it real, LF, no one will mention that your album is b.o.r.i.n.g. Because no one cares. Least of all yours truly. A-
Stay tuned into what the shiny box feeds you, and watch this space for my upcoming in-depth interview with the queen of tastemaking, Paula Abdul. You'll be shocked and amazed at what she has to say about the new Yo La Tengo record.
Pug out.
...
October 04, 2006
A CAN OF WHOOP ASS
...you cannot stop this man...
when Derek Jeter was just coming up in the majors, during his first, second and third seasons, there was often heard this jive question concerning who might be considered the best shortstop in baseball--garciaparra, tejada, vizquel, and some cat they called "a-rod"...some said this one had a better bat, or better power, or that this other one had a better glove...tell me, where are they now? because my guy's in the postseason now. again. he has more postseason hits than any player who has ever lived. and last night, he went 5-for-5...
say what? who's the best? who's your daddy?
number two is number one.
...
October 03, 2006
October 02, 2006
IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF HIS FAMOUS WORK ETHIC
...rookie year...
...2006...
tried to find two shots at a similar angle/point of reference. this is the same cranium -- not muscles, bone -- I'm no anatomy expert, but hasn't this human experienced some growth?
...
A REFRESHING MELANGE OF CAPOTE LISP & PAUL LYNDE WHINE
...should you care to listen to Rep. Foley talk about his bill to protect the kids from online predators, try not to think too much about his preference for the "lotion & towel" technique...
...
FRIENDS 4 EVER!!!
..."he was only just 15, but you should've seen the macaca on this kid!"...
...
JOCULARITY!
I am not equipped to declare whether or not john zorn is a genius.
You decide.
...
THE TURDS CIRCLE THE DRAIN
HASTERT KNEW....
BOEHNER KNEW.....
FOLEY FLEW...
...