November 30, 2006
DANIEL
Tomorrow is the stateside debut of my brother Dan, who moved to Paris after college and has lived there ever since, making his living as an artist and raising a family. The hardest thing about striving for great art is to not have it swallow you up, to the exclusion of all the other parts of life. I find his example inspiring.
And the work is staggeringly beautiful.
Daniel Clarke "100 Drawings"
The Grenfell Press
116 W. 29th St. #7N
Friday Dec. 1, 6-8pm
RSVP: puddlejumpernyc@aol.com
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November 29, 2006
THE WORLD STANDS AGOG AT THE IRONY OF GERMANY VS. RUMSFELD
...history repeats?...
morning reading. an interesting point of view. key quotation:
click on text to read the whole thing.
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November 28, 2006
EXCUSE ME WHILE I KISS THIS GUY
...as of 1967, the human culmination of all 20th century pop music, expressed on a six-string electric guitar...
Happy 64th Birthday Jimi Hendrix!
born November 27, 1942
...the milky way express is loaded, all aboard
i promise each and every one of you you won't be bored...
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November 26, 2006
HIGH & LONESOME
der electromagnet skronkhausen!
yet another edition...
on down the line...
custom-built right here...
in world-famous maplewood usa...
A brand new telecaster guitar.
November 25, 2006
November 21, 2006
BLACKIE
...20 for the price of one?...
Next friday, sometimes called "black friday" because of the rampant shopping behavior typically exhibited on the day after thanksgiving, is the first on-sale date for Fender's new reproduction of Eric Clapton's famous "blackie" stratocaster. Apparently it was Guitar Center who paid over $900K for the original, and now they're going to sell 275 custom shop instruments, claiming to be exact repllicants of this storied guitar. [ sidebar: what stories? clapton's best work overall was performed on a les paul with john mayall's bluesbreakers; or you could argue that he peaked with cream, playing an ES335; or that his best stratocaster work was cast into the firmament with derek & the dominoes--with a different stratocaster, "brownie" ... certainly the fuss can't all be bout 461 Ocean Blvd... the featured guitar on the I-quit-heroin-album? or perhaps you prefer "slowhand," the I-quit-heroin-but-now-I'm-snortingwhiskydrinkingcocaine-album? $20 large for lay down sally? puh-leeze, that ain't living on tulsa time, that's living on central park west....(but I digress) ]
So all you hedge fund managers and cardiologists with a yen for the slowhand stylee can now cop to the closest imitation (or is it?) you'll ever find, of this famous axe...
Why do I address this to the well-heeled? Because these guitars are priced at $20,000. that's right: 20 grand. for a stratocaster.. for this price you receive two slabs of wood, which I would assume to be ordinary alder & maple, with a few coats of black, distressed lacquer, some pickups that were custom-wound to be (I'm assuming) fairly low output with a subtle spike in the midrange, the less-than-optimal (nowadays) complement of fender hardware (e.g. the gotoh strat bridge/tremolo is certainly superior to a stock fender part, but forget it--it ain't "vintage" spec), and post-assembly, a relic'ing treatment one could describe, with all charity, as "beat to hell."
For that money, I could build twenty of them from the bare wood. actually, if I were buying materials for such a quantity, I could certainly use the economy of scale to produce 25, maybe 30 guitars. and every single one would play and sound just as well, if not better, than this "authentic" knock-off. I'll put my own "whitey" strat up against one of these millionaire toys, any day of the week. [ as if this is an issue. would you spend 20 large on a guitar and then play the thing? hard to play something that's locked away in a safe. ]
Feel free to send your charitable donation to the Crossroads Center and good for you. But you don't have to get hosed by Fender Musical Instruments in order to do so...
here's the kicker: Mr. Clapton, after years of re-fretting and other maintenance, years on the road, endless hours of playing, finally decided to retire the instrument altogether, because it was in such terrible shape! This is the playing condition which Fender would aspire to reproduce! a rejected guitar! and I just can't repeat this enough: $20 f#%^*g grand!!! if the namesake progenitor is unworthy, why would you seek to multiply its obsolescence?
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November 20, 2006
THE GIRL WITH A TEAR IN HER VOICE
"I woke up one morning and I could sing.”
Ruth Brown
1928-2006
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November 18, 2006
INSTANT KARMA
...the closest I've come to truly instant gratification since I began this whole tiptoe enterprise of guitar building...a gorgeous, classic fender color...
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CAUGHT BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE STRATOCASTER
[ click on captions for detail. ]
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November 17, 2006
MURDER MOST FOUL
...is OJ happy? golly, I sure hope that OJ is happy...
Judith Regan had sex with Bernard Kerik. Ewwww.
...this one diddled...
...this one...
(in an apartment, funded by taxpayer money, set aside for displaced persons after 9/11)...
feel free to photoshop your own hideous lovechild apparition from these two shots...I like to picture the stringy-haired, mustachio'd wolfen toddler lamprey smeared in excrement, masturbating compulsively, wearing on oj simpson jersey...
Judith Regan is about to publish a book by OJ Simpson, in which he describes how he would "hypothetically" murder the two people whom he stood trial for killing, and for whose deaths a civil trial found him culpable.
Judith Regan is now saying the only thing she can, to ensure that at least some of the bottom-feeders and celeb trash lovers out there will purchase this lowlight in American publishing history: it's a "confession."
Judith Regan is scum. OJ Simpson is scum. (and of course Bernard Kerik is ruling emperor of the boundless scum kingdom) It would be a shame if these filthmongers were to be well-compensated for this. Moreover, it would be a perversion of the highest order, were OJ able to profit from his wife's murder, whether or not he did it (he did). Don't buy it. Don't tune in when OJ gets interviewed on Fox by--who else?--Judith Regan (Baba Wawa turned him down).
If any of us must ponder this minor episode in modern tabloid history, let's try and remember that two human beings lost their lives to this egomaniacal thug, whom we all should continue to shun. or at least, we should continue to shun him until he finds the "real killers."
[ed. note: I realize it's been a recent streak of somberness since the election--religion, oj, a whole lotta high-minded hifalutin screechy-preachy...I promise we will return to our usual pursuits, guitars & xmas-bashing, presently...]
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November 16, 2006
AMAZING GRACE
(hat tip to delanceyplace.com)
another heartwarming story from the annals of modern religion....
"Most of us at one time or another have heard or sung 'Amazing Grace.' What is less well known is the fact that for six years its composer was a successful slave trader, shipping hundreds of Africans across the Atlantic from Sierra Leone to the Caribbean.
" 'Amazing Grace' is the supreme hymn of Evangelical redemption: 'Amazing grace how sweet the sound / That saved a wretch like me! / I once was lost, but now am found, / Was blind but now I see.' It is tempting therefore to imagine Newton suddenly seeing the light about slavery and turning away from his wicked profession to dedicate himself to God. But the timing of Newton's conversion is all wrong. In fact, it was after his religious awakening that Newton became the first mate and then the captain of a succession of slave ships, and only much later that he began to question the morality of buying and selling his fellow men and women. ...
"John Newton's journal for 1750-51, when he was in command of the slave ship Duke of Argyle, lays bare the attitudes of those who lived and profited by the trade of human lives. Sailing up and down the coast of Sierra Leone and beyond, Newton spent long weeks bartering goods for people, haggling over the price and quality with the local slave traders. He was a choosy buyer, avoiding old 'fallen breasted' women. On 7 January 1751 he exchanged eight slaves for a quantity of timber and ivory, but felt overcharged when he noticed that one of them had 'a very bad mouth.' 'A fine manslave, now that there are so many competitors' he complained, 'is near double the price it was formerly.' Note the word 'it.' He noted on the same day the death of 'a fine woman slave, No. 11.' "
Niall Ferguson, Empire, Basic Books, 2002, pp. 62-63.
November 15, 2006
KIND OF BLUE
...what dreams may come...
This is Lake Placid Blue. Not much time to ruminate and post today, as I'm in the middle of crunching a data release. But suffice to say that dry, humorless numbers get my mind to wandering...one more coat of white primer and I'll be spraying this color on my old '74 strat this weekend. the results ought to look clean as a broke dick dog, as miles would say...
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November 14, 2006
BOOGIE MAMA
...do I play it, or use it to serve h'ors deouvres?...
here's one, the likes of which I doubt I'll ever produce myself. italian. lovely lines. love the combination of opaque lacquer and clear coat/grain exploitation.
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today's statement of the obvious: we (in this instance, the word "we" is being used to denote all living heterosexual male humans) despise kevin federline and always will. however, we are willing (in this instance, the word "willing" is being used to denote extreme enthusiasm) to overlook this animosity in its entirety. we want (in this instance, the word "want" is being used to denote a willingness to purchase, at any price, no matter how exorbitant) to see (in this instance, the word "see" is being used to denote an act of owning, examining, reviewing, and savoring) the video footage.
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today's idealistic little guy vs. corporate satan idea: I don't really have much of a horse in this race anymore...since I've adopted the Yankees as my main pro sports team to root for, but I did grow up a Mets fan, and the name for the place the Mets play has always been Shea Stadium. Now Citibank put up a lot of money to get their name on it, "Citi Field" (can't you just hear the obvious "shitty field" already?), but I'm proposing something much simpler: the power of a united fan base, who continue to call the Mets' stadium by its authentic moniker, Shea. Think of it as a nickname. And wouldn't it be great to see at least one big gigantic corporation get stiffed in its crass brand-building? To co-opt the passion and love of sports fans, just to build the name recognition of a huge corporation--in this case a foreign bank--is (and has always been) pretty ugly, but nowhere as much as in New York, where our stadium names still hold the sort of meaning to which a stock symbol is not reflexively attached. And this will take so little effort...you could (insensitively) say that it's so easy, even a Mets fan can do it! Just continue to keep using the name "Shea Stadium," and the next time you hear a sportscaster using the corporate name, call him up to irately complain that there's nothing shitty about Shea...
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THE BLUES IS GONE
...dipped a toe in the water; the water was cold...
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November 13, 2006
GOOD GOD
...clap hands...
This article caught my eye. Now, I must be somewhat judicious in my phrasing here, since some who are near and dear to me happen to still endorse and participate in the institution discussed in the article. I respect them, and anyone else who tries to make a good faith (no pun intended) reckoning with the cosmos and the nature of our existence. I'm working at the same thing myself, even though my method and belief system differs from theirs.
But since I am a former member of this congregation, I find it interesting now to read about "developments" and "initiatives" being bandied about my former place of worship. inasmuch as these subjects and strategies are purported to address modern phenomena, it just rings like the same old same old...
I. "focusing on the many Catholics who misunderstand or disregard church teaching" is an interesting turn of phrase. last week, why did so many republicans and independents effectively change their 2004 vote and back the democrats? because they knew that absolute power corrupts absolutely, and given a chance to advocate a change, they did so. in the world of the church, there is no such chance. it is dictatorial. and moreover, the dictators claim to have God as their authority. one might venture the observation that this is not quite so. the authority actually resides in the teachings of a variously-interpreted book, whose text and metaphor have been shredded and rhetorically reconstructed endless different ways since the dawn of christianity. these clerics are nothing very special taken against the contrast of the centuries of their historical peers. very much the same, except for the fact that their wealth and influence is unmatched since perhaps the age of constantine. instruct us on what, exactly?
II. "new guidelines on ministry to gay parishioners" how could this be any different from what they've taught in the past? and isn't it ironic that a population who, just like hairdressers and pro football players, tends to skew as gay themselves, are now presupposing to explain this to those who are openly in the life? the phrase "log cabin" comes to mind. also: mark foley, ken mehlman, david dreier, jim kolbe...still-fresh memories of the election abound. one can't but envy the good fortune of out-of-closet gays being instructed by their closeted counterparts. you go girl.
III. budgets stretched thin, allegedly because of treasuries being drained by damages claims by those who were abused by priests. or could the lack of funds be more of a function of people just not going to church anymore? example: I no long attend mass. therefore, I no longer dump cash in a collection basket, depriving the church hierarchy of much-needed spondulicks. let's face it, the church is devoting its marketing dollars at lower-hanging fruit--3rd world countries, latin america...too bad they've lost mother teresa. she was aces at extracting huge sums from billionaires, such as the duvalier family in haiti, or charles keating of the keating five...
IV. new initiatives include support for marriage (the man-woman kind only, of course), increasing the number of candidates for priesthood (I'd love to know how) and some sort of program on something called "church teaching." isn't this the simplest, least expensive initiative? I thought that church teaching came in the form of a weekly homily from the pulpit--we should try to be better people, as this or that saint tells us. which begs a question--which lessons are they that the flock needs renewed, well-moneyed instruction on? could they be the same ones that most catholics have been ignoring since their very inception? does anyone really believe that using birth control is sinful? moreover, how can a bureaucracy that harbors pedophiles claim to "teach" others in sexual morality?
it would seem that the church is contracting, just as all companies do when faced with declining revenues. they must decrease the number of outlets for their products, even as they try to maximize both the number of customers and the loyalty of existing ones. except this company has a much different mission statement on its annual report: to do God's work. and while it's been a number of years since I was subjected to one of the aforementioned teachings, I do remember one of the big precepts--the abandonment of worldly possessions, the conversion of said possessions to largesse and charity, and the adoption of poverty as a way to God. Seems to me that all the steps outlined in the meetings' minutes have very little to do with this. They have much more to do with preserving power. and money. and jesus christ almighty, can't we all agree on a way to shame all those faggots back into the closet?
amen.
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November 10, 2006
THE DAY IS MINE
May you live all the days of your life.
- Jonathan Swift
Getting old ain't for sissies.
- Betty Davis
Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
- George Bernard Shaw
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.
- Stephen Wright
My mother groaned, my father wept,
into the dangerous world I leapt;
helpless, naked, piping loud,
like a fiend hid in a cloud.
- William Blake
A man growing old is going
down the dark stairs.
He has been speaking of the Soul
tattooed with the Law.
Of dreams
burnt in the bone.
- Denise Levertov
The child thinks of growing old as an almost obscene calamity, which for some mysterious reason will never happen to itself. All who have passed the age of thirty are joyless grotesques, endlessly fussing about things of no importance and staying alive without, so far as the child can see, having anything to live for. Only child life is real life.
- George Orwell
Nothing I cared, in the lamb white days, that time would take me
Up to the swallow thronged loft by the shadow of my hand,
In the moon that is always rising,
Nor that riding to sleep
I should hear him fly with the high fields
And wake to the farm forever fled from the childless land.
Oh as I was young and easy in the mercy of his means,
Time held me green and dying
Though I sang in my chains like the sea.
- Dylan Thomas
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November 09, 2006
NOW I CAN SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY CIVIL WAR MEMORABILIA
...rhymes with failin'...
How can this week get any better?
oh I dunno, maybe some birthday cake?
If this story is true, then I can now go back to obsessing about nitrocellulose lacquer and pickguards and what sort of alnico magnets I'm using...
And who am I kidding? He could easily be running for president in two years, which will be just the right amount of time for repubs to start bitching about obstructionism, do-nothing congress, taxes, godlessness, and all the rest...
so let's enjoy the moment.
and happy birthday to me...
'cuz it's my birthday....buh-buh-buh-birthday....
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November 08, 2006
DING DONG THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD
...I control the universe with invisible superpowers...
what to say? ballots not bullets!!!
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could it be that famed gaycon blogster Andrew Sullivan is reading my little bitty blog? or should I be unsurprised by the (coincidental) dorothy reference?
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I GLOAT BECAUSE I CARE
...is that a sudden shift in the wind?...
Virginia, don't disappoint me. it's time we had a recount go our way...
Montana, c'mon all you cowpokes...you know that Burns fella is just batshit crazy...let's give the other guy a chance...Tester is bester...
Britney, call me....
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November 07, 2006
VOTE EARLY AND VOTE OFTEN
...which washington do you want? the kind we used to have?...
...or the kind we have now?...
Please vote.
Today.
Now is the time.
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November 06, 2006
I DIG IT
...just a glass-half-full person I suppose...
During a weekend which was overpopulated by the disharmonious clang of political oddsmakers and football armchair jockeys (and aren't these media departments linguistically interchangeable?), the following, an excerpt from an interview with author James Ellroy, was by far my favorite utterance:
What about more contemporary forms of expediency, like the anti-terrorism measures practiced by the Bush administration?
I do not follow contemporary politics. I live in a vacuum. I don't read books. I don't read newspapers. I do not own a TV set or a cellphone or a computer. I spend my evenings alone, usually lying in the dark talking to women who aren't in the room with me.
You mean they're on the phone?
No. They're metaphysical. I brood. I brood about former women in my life. Potential future women in my life. I ignore the culture. I don't want it to impede, impair, interdict, suppress or subsume my imagination with extraneous influences.
Is this an act? Are you trying to pass yourself off as the sort of isolated sociopath who is a stock character in crime fiction?
No. I am not acting. There are times when I think it isn't quite kosher to be lying in the dark talking to women who aren't in the room with me. And it turns into a certain kind of hauntedness and loneliness. But by and large, I dig it.
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November 03, 2006
LOW END THEORY
...before...
...after...
this is one nice piece of ash...
it occurred to me that we live in a town called maplewood, which is right next door to south orange...let me just say that this particular project bears no reflection on either township. it's just a jazz bass...
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November 02, 2006
SOUTHERN MAN
"The Confessions of Nat Turner" inspired me.
"Sophie's Choice" moved me.
"Darkness Visible" helped me.
William Styron, 1925-2006
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November 01, 2006
CHAOS
...anyone happen to notice this chart in the NYT today?...
the other day Cheney said he thought the Iraqis were doing remarkably well...this chart is the sort of data he is seeing...moving toward chaos, or doing remarkably well? ... which is it?
Please vote.
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TIME TO RING SOME CHANGES
...say it, don't spray it...
it seems that the blue stain isn't setting quite as neatly and sweetly as I'd hoped. I still haven't given up hope completely, but the air of experimentation is always lingering, and I'm now flirting with other ideas. for one thing, the burgundy mist I shot on my old tokai tele (ironically, the vintage fender is having issues while the worthless plywood relic looks rather snazzy) looks great, and I really enjoyed shooting the metallic color. the options all sound nice...gold, silver, copper...right now I'm leaning heavily toward staying with the blue theme and shooting a layer of lake placid blue metallic...yowza!!
if the can of blue stain runs out and results still suck, I'll start sanding and priming for round two...the way I figure it, this guitar's been waiting to look like something since 1974...I might as well do it right...
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